Growing Through Grief

by | Sep 2, 2024 | 0 comments

Holistic and Somatic Approaches to Healing After Severe Loss

Grief is not just a psychological emotion; it is a profound biological event that lives in the tissues of the body. Learn why standard "talk therapy" is rarely enough to process severe loss, and how the nervous system actually heals.

A depiction of finding light and somatic grounding during the grief process.

Grief is the most universal human experience, yet modern Western culture treats it as a temporary illness to be "gotten over" as quickly as possible. When a patient arrives at Taproot Therapy Collective in Birmingham, AL, they are frequently exhausted not just by the loss itself, but by the physical toll of trying to suppress it.

To explore the modern, neurobiological reality of grief, Taproot Clinical Director Joel Blackstock recently sat down with Amy Pickett-Williams, a highly specialized grief therapist with over 25 years of clinical experience, and the founder of The Light Movement.

Listen to the Full Clinical Interview:

The Many Faces of "Ambiguous" Grief

While society easily recognizes the bereavement that follows the physical death of a loved one, it frequently ignores ambiguous loss. The nervous system, however, does not differentiate. Pickett-Williams emphasizes that unresolved grief encompasses a vast spectrum of experiences, including:

  • Identity Loss: The profound disorientation following a divorce, the end of a career, or a severe medical diagnosis (like fibromyalgia or chronic pain).
  • Reproductive Grief: The invisible, highly isolating pain carried by those navigating long-term infertility or recurrent miscarriages.
  • Systemic and Ecological Grief: The autonomic toll of witnessing relentless global trauma, political instability, and climate change.

"Losses are around us all the time," Pickett-Williams notes. "If we don't know how to metabolize them, that energy is just going to build more and more in our bodies, which leads directly to chronic physical inflammation and systemic stress."

The Myth of "Moving On"

A central misconception in modern therapy is the idea that we are supposed to "heal" from grief, effectively replacing sadness with a return to our baseline happiness. From a Jungian depth psychology perspective, this is impossible. Grief fundamentally alters the architecture of the psyche.

You do not move on from severe loss; you move forward with it. "If we learn to find purpose and meaning in our loss, we expand our capacity to hold it," Pickett-Williams stresses. The goal of therapy is not to shrink the grief, but to grow the individual around it.

Growing With Grief Through Somatic Practice

This is precisely where standard cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) hits a bottleneck. You cannot simply "think" or logic your way out of a devastating loss. Grief is a full-body experience that dysregulates the autonomic nervous system.

Pickett-Williams’ work heavily incorporates "bottom-up" somatic techniques—such as breathwork, mindful movement, and targeted nervous system regulation—to help individuals expand their "Window of Tolerance."

"We have to learn these somatic tools to get back into our window so that we can cope and function every day," she explains. "But the other piece that is just as important is: how do we actively grow our windows? So that when the unavoidable waves of grief hit us, our nervous system doesn't immediately jump to intense panic or total depressive immobilization."

The Polyvagal Science of Somatic Grief Work

At Taproot Therapy Collective, our grief protocols are strictly grounded in emerging neurobiology, referencing the work of experts like Dr. Peter Levine (founder of Somatic Experiencing) and Dr. Stephen Porges (developer of Polyvagal Theory).

When an individual suffers a severe loss, their nervous system frequently drops into "Dorsal Vagal Shutdown"—a biological state of profound numbness, lethargy, and disconnection that mimics clinical depression. Somatic grief therapy targets this biology directly:

Vagal Tone Manipulation

Over 80% of the Vagus nerve's fibers are afferent—meaning they carry information from the body up to the brain. By practicing specific somatic techniques like elongated exhales, we can manually send a biological signal of "safety" to the brain's threat center, breaking the panic loop.

Pendulation & Titration

Somatic movement helps release the "survival energy" stored in the fascia and muscle tissue. We utilize pendulation—shifting the patient's focus between the pain of the grief and a space of physical neutrality in the body—so the nervous system isn't overwhelmed all at once.

The "90-Second Rule"

Neuroscience reveals that the acute, physiological wave of an intense emotion (like a sudden pang of devastating grief) takes roughly 90 seconds to wash through the nervous system. Somatic therapy teaches patients how to physically resource themselves to survive that 90-second window without dissociating or turning to substance abuse.

Bringing It All Together: The Light Movement

The Light Movement has a mission to increase global awareness of holistic, somatic-based grief support and to properly train clinical providers in these methods. Their approach seamlessly integrates clinical neuroscience, social justice, and wisdom from both Eastern and Western healing traditions.

Further Clinical Reading & Resources

If you would like to explore the deep science behind somatic processing, trauma resolution, and the neurobiology of grief, we recommend the following foundational texts and organizations:

Foundational Literature

  • "The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma" by Bessel van der Kolk, MD
  • "Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma" by Peter A. Levine, PhD
  • "The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation" by Deb Dana, LCSW
  • "Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief" by David Kessler
  • "It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand" by Megan Devine

Clinical Research & Institutes

You Do Not Have to Carry It Alone

If your grief has become physically overwhelming, frozen in your body, or is manifesting as severe depression and panic, it is time to engage your nervous system. Let our specialized somatic clinicians help you expand your capacity to heal.

Schedule a Somatic Consultation

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